Monday, October 31, 2011

clever

Hello, sweets!

I just found these new chalk-by-number prints in one of my favorite shops:  shop dirtsa.  Aren't they awesome?




My favorite is the tree, although I love them all.  I wonder what I could do with some chalkboard fabric, two dowels and a white paint pen?  Nothing this cute, that's for sure.

Because Sofie is going trick-or-treating as a witch-vampiress and we are all talking like we have fangs hanging out of our mouths, I'll just say this:  veddy, veddy clever.

Safe haunting, all!

xoxox.


Saturday, October 29, 2011

details

Hi, there.

(this is NOT my rug)

A few months ago I took it into my head that I wanted to make crocheted rugs from recycled materials, because I keep seeing such beautiful ones around the weborhood and I am covetous (yes, I am).  I thought it would be as easy as ripping up some old sheets and crocheting them together.  It wasn't.  And because I am me, and my brain is weird, I wanted to have a perfect rug on my very first try.  And since I didn't, I quit. 

I think I'll try again.

But anyway, check these out!: 




These (above) are all from the shop of Emily Kircher, who is actually an artist, so it's not surprising mine didn't turn out like hers.  They are all stunning, you really should take a look.

And (below) these are what really got me going:  the flickr set of hollybairy entitled "Rag Rugs I Have Made" (subheading:  "I made my first rag rug in November 2010 and haven't stopped since"!  She makes it sound so stinkin' easy.)




(Do take a look at her flickr.  It's like a kaleidoscope of colors over there, man.)

Anyway, if you know of some good instructions, I'd be grateful to take a look at them.  All the ones I've found are so vague that I got a bit confused.  When it comes to crafting, I need details, people.  Cold hard facts:  Do you cut the fabric, or rip it?  How wide are your strips of fabric?  How many times do you increase so that your rug doesn't get all wiggly?  What size hook?  How do you hide the knots?  Tell me, please!  I can't fudge when it comes to cooking or fabric stuff. 

It's really cold here.  Good crocheting weather.  I'm just sayin'.

xoxox.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

sentimental idiot

I love the work found in the store You Sentimental Idiot.  First and foremost, the name of the shop is amazing.  And secondly, the shop owner uses old journal or diary pages as a basis for her art.  Brilliant.

My favorites, of course, are the ones that focus on home and family:

"With All Her Children"

 "Fixed Stars"
 "Started Pleats"
"Mended Socks"

***
So after my latest breakdown, I had to do lots of thinking.  My first thought, after trying to make everyone around me happy was, "Why doesn't anyone try to make me happy???"  I stayed with this one for a while.  I really felt, deep down, that the people in my life needed to be doing more to make me happy.

Then I realized, of course, my folly.  How extremely ridiculous!  It is no more anyone else's job to make me happy than it is for me to make them happy!  I must allow the people in my life (and by saying this, I mean: my family--my children, my husband, my mother) to be responsible for their own happiness.  The burden of trying to insure their happiness, in addition to my very extensive day-to-day responsibilities, was truly overwhelming.  Add to that the realization that I couldn't make everyone happy through sheer force of will, and you get the aforementioned sobbing.  ( I could wish that it hadn't come outside the privacy of my own home, but, hey, none of us get to choose our moments.  This I have certainly learned.)

Anyway, how to apply this to day-to-day life?  I'm not sure yet.  Still attempting to solve the problems at hand, and that may take a while, but I do feel I've been shown an important lesson, one that was long overdue.  However, it is important to say here that nobody has asked me to solve their problems for them, not in so many words.  But if someone offers to fix everything for you, most people will let them.  And I think that's the case here:  nobody can blame my children or husband or mother for allowing me to take on their burdens.  The real fault lies with me, for trying in the first place.   One of the hardest lessons for me to learn as an adult is that the only person I can change is myself:  it is absolutely futile to try and change another.  The only way to lasting peace is through my own self-knowledge and through the releasing of control to a higher power.  And I am responsible for my own happiness, just as they are, and that includes setting boundaries and guarding my own energy.

Lots to learn.

Hope you are well, sweet friends.

xoxox.

Monday, October 24, 2011

farm

At my work, we took the children to a fabulous pumpkin patch/farm for the day.  It was really wonderful.  The children were happy, the sun was shining, and the mice were in the corn.  (It is a farm!)










Other than that, though, I had a really rough day.  I came hard up against the conclusion that I simply can't make everyone in my life happy.  F*** it.  And the almost unbearable frustration of that realization brought me to tears--as in sobbing, nose-dripping, kind of tears.  At work.  Which only made me cry harder, because I was furious at myself for showing such weakness.

Just when you think you've made "progress," you realize how very far you have to go.

Anyway, no solutions have occurred to me in the hour and a half since my oh-so-public epiphany (is it still an epiphany if it's not so good?).  But they will.  Because life just rolls on, and things fall into place.  Still, though, I have to deal with me, and that will take a while.

I hope you are all having a wonderful week.  Take care.

xoxox.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

happiness, pursuit of

Hi, all! 

Happy Sunday to you.  Sunday is my very favorite day of the week, 'though not without some mixed feelings, you know?  Nothing feels better than Sunday afternoon with its naps, cookie-making, reading and being with loved ones.  But over it all hangs the realization that tomorrow...is Monday.



Whatev.  I'm here to talk about something else:  the amazing and fabulous Maira Kalmon, and how you might want to get to know her (or get to know her better).  Just check out this fabulous book cover-portrait of Ben Franklin!  I would frame it in a poster size, and kiss it every single day, if I could:


Apparently, she was all excited after the Obama election (me, too) and went to Washington to learn all about our government.  I haven't the slightest desire to read the book, but the cover is beautiful.  And, to tie it all in with something I do care about, I found a quote from Ms. Kalman pertaining to happiness itself in this interview with her in PaperMag, and I really like it. 

Ready?  She has discovered that "knowing the right thing to do doesn't mean you can do it in a way that brings you peace of mind and contentment. Sometimes you can be jumping for joy but that's usually connected with a small moment, like I just finished a job and I can jump for joy or I just had the most delicious ice cream. In terms of bigger peace of mind I think that working on something that you are really concentrating on that gives you tremendous satisfaction is probably the most serious relationship to happiness that anyone can actually have as the counterpoint to having people around you that you love or love you, one or the other, and or, hopefully both."

She's right, you know.

Have a great week, and also I love you.

xoxox.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

a million, million light years of being

Well, hello.

This is not my curtain, but it sure is pretty.  See it bigger here.

I don't have much to say.  Been just getting through the days lately.  To wit:  I had red wine and pumpkin pie for dinner.  It was what I wanted, and I had it.  That's either wise or stupid, and I don't know which.

We are moving to a new house in less than a month (closer to our work) and I'm in complete denial about another move.  The last one messed me up so badly that I can only wince when I think about another.  But it's a good thing...It is.

Maybe read this blog post (thank you, Sandra!)...I think you'll like it.

And, lastly:  a lovely, lovely poem from Thea that brought me to tears.  Find it in the comments to this post here.

Hope all is well with you.
xoxox.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

girl project

Hey, all!  Happy near-weekend.


Just ordered the book Please Read (If At All Possible) for Olivia.  It's based on Kate Engelbrecht's "The Girl Project," which strives to understand the mysteries of the minds of teen-aged girls (and it's encouraging, to boot!).  I think we could all use a little help with that, so I ordered the book, and will be reviewing it thoroughly before handing it to Livvy.

I am blessed to have what I think is a very open relationship with my girl, but who really knows?  And if this book helps her to feel less alone, then it's worth its weight in gold.

Read more here.

***
Regarding my last post, I'm willing to admit to perhaps overthinking it all.  But what I'm really re-considering is the role of faith in all of it.  I think life is really a co-creation between us and our personal God, don't you?  I mean, what else is all the struggle for, other than personal growth (and I've never thought it was just that).  We're here to learn something, from Someone, right? 

Heck if I know.

xoxox.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

work-in-progress

Hi, guys...Thinking more about creativity today.  Want to toss it around a bit?

(wip, from junker jane)

I was prompted by Shannah's comment on this post the other day to look up the concept of social sculpture.  And oh, the places it took me!

But first, what is social sculpture, you may ask (as I did)?  You can read a whole bunch about it here, but basically, for our purposes, it's the idea that human activity (art) can strive to create or structure the environment we live in.  Propounded by Joseph Beuys in the last half of the 20th century, it emphasizes art or actions directed by individual choices which thereby (of course) create our society, and indeed, our world.

So...creating our lives...Our lives as creations...Creativity as a way of life...Life itself as our best creationYes!  That's it.  That's what I want to do:  apply the creative process used by artists and writers and such to my life.  How can I do that?  How can we do that?

I found some answers.

I was reading this very interesting article by artist and social sculpture proponent Jeff Barnum (he's got lots to say, do read if you have the time).  His goal is to do exactly what I'm thinking, albeit on a much, much larger scale.  And because he is an artist and a social activist, he has plenty of insight into all of it.  He says:

The key challenge in making a work of art, I’ve learned, is to arrive at something powerful and interesting without knowing exactly how to do so. An artist works in situations with no pre-existing solutions...

That's the key, for me--the "artist works in situations with no pre-existing solutions."  How many years of my life did I spend trying to force the solution, rather than creating one?  How much time did I waste looking for a path that was pre-made, rather than blazing my own trail?  Blazing the trail is harder, of course,  because it's creative, and it takes much, much longer, but it's yours, and it's real, and it leads where you want to go, right?

More from Mr. Barnum about finding your own way, creatively or otherwise: 

The defining characteristic of a creative process is that it structures the process of metamorphosis. For an artist to create a finished work of art, he or she must navigate a journey of reaching or hunting through which a final form can emerge. This is a metamorphic process: In art as in nature, the final form emerges at the end. Unless you have seen them before, it’s impossible to predict the butterfly from the caterpillar, the rose from the thorn bush, or the oak from the acorn. Even if you were familiar with the sequence, you would be hard pressed to exactly predict the emerging form. In art, if you’re sure of what you’re going to get before you start, you’re using a formula. A creative process structures the hunt for an emergent solution.  (emphasis mine)

Do you get it?  In our lives, when we know what we're going to get (or we think we do) we are on the wrong track, I think.  We're using a formula, not our own creative energies.  We need to "hunt for an emergent solution," even though that's scary.  And do you know why the creative process is so uncomfortable?  Because it's against all our mind's training, from birth to adulthood, to not know where you are going to end up.  That's a really crazy and scary feeling for most of us, but as any artist can tell you, we have to become comfortable with the uncertainty of a true work-in-progress before we can ever, ever create anything of value or beauty.  In art or in life, it's the truly uncomfortable (or even terrifying) times that often lead to the greatest growth and lasting beauty.

The last few years of my life were something I never, ever thought I'd experience.   (Unemployment?  Mental illness?  Bankruptcy?  Possible homelessness?  Fear for my children's health and safety?  Um, no.)  And looking back, it's not just those few years that taught me so much--it's the years preceding them, when I didn't believe in trusting myself or the process of growth or even any kind of faith in God to show me the way--I wanted answers.  Wanted them so badly that I was willing to force some very round pegs into some very square holes in order to make everything fit the way I thought it should be, based upon other people's lives.  But all the while, I would have been far better served by creating a life of my own and learning to trust the grey areas for what they were--breeding ground for something very good and strong and true, if I could only search a little harder.  And that's what I think I've finally learned to do.  To know that my life itself is "a setting or a context in which [I] do creative work," just like an artist's studio, where wonderful things are attempted without roadmaps or cleared paths.  These paths, the paths I hope to travel, can't be cleared before I get there--they are waiting for me, and only me.  I have to clear them.  And one day, my daughters may look at my paths and learn from them if they wish, but they will have to deviate from them for their own good--they must find their own way.  And now, I'll make sure they do.

So the concept of social sculpture taught me all this, but also something much simpler--and it's not unique at all, but rather something I am just now learning to incorporate into my life.  It's the idea that we are creating the world we want to see with every single action, word and thought.  Or we should be, if we are mindful.  Even Joseph Bueys, the artist (mentioned above) who created amazing works on a societal level, thought that each human being was an artist.  He once said that “every sphere of human activity, even peeling a potato, can be a work of art--as long as it is a conscious act.”  Don't you love that?  I do.  Each and every action can be beautiful and thoughtful and help to lead to the kind of world we want to leave for our children.  I want to live this way, and I do, when I remember to.

I'll let you know how it goes...Any thoughts?    What's the role of faith in this, if any?  Do you feel you've made greater progress in your life when you don't force the results or have certain expectations?  Or do you think we'd be crazy to approach life "creatively," as opposed to five- and ten-year plans?  Please, do tell...

Meantime, have a wonderful rest of your week, okay?  :o)  Thanks for reading (if you made it this far!)...

xoxox.

Monday, October 10, 2011

fancy for used

Hi, sweets.

Have you visited the vintage shop named Roberta Grove?  It's right up my alley:










Great selection, great styling, and wonderful ideas to try on your own.  And not too seemingly-snooty, like some of those vintage shops are.  (I mean, let's all remind ourselves that "vintage" is just fancy for "used," no?  Let's have a little fun!)...I'm working on my own bouquet of badminton rackets myself, thanks to this little shop.
Check it out.  Catch you later, 'gators.

xoxox.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

scenery

Hello.  Also, I love you.











It's a lovely long weekend here, and we will take full advantage of the extra day to catch up at work and home, plus do a bit of gawking at the fall leaves, which are just beginning to turn. 

***

My dear friend Janice left this quote from Sheridan Le Fanu in her comment to my last post, and I really love it.  It sums up everything for me:

"Thus, if there are afflictions, there are also comforts: great consolations, great chastisements. There is a comforter, and there is a chastener. Every man must taste of death: every man must taste of life. It shall not be all bitter nor all sweet for any. It shall be life. The unseen ministers of a stupendous equity have their eyes and their hands about every man’s portion; ‘as it is written, he that had gathered much had nothing over; and he that had gathered little had no lack.’ 



"It is the same earth for all; the same earth for the dead, great and small; dust to dust. The same earth for the living. ‘Thorns, also, and thistles shall it bring forth,’ and God provides the flowers too."

(I do have the best friends.)

***
I hope your weekend is colorful and cozy and includes at least some chocolate!

xoxox.